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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kitty Kowalski's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, May 28th, 2007
    5:02 pm
    do not reply
    deleted from contacts, blocked from flickr, etc.

    "Dear (spelled my name wrong), Sorry I have not written. I was off on vacation to the one place in the world that I know you have been dying to go to with my new girlfriend. It was awesome - in fact, heres a link to the photos so you can see them and eat your heart out. And guess what - we're moving in together. Yeah, sorry I couldn't do any of those things when I was with you, but dumping you really helped me get to at a new level. I'm in a place where now I can be with someone and not be such a weirdo. That's how awesome you are. BTW - how's you husband? be in touch, m'kay? from, the sadistic ex-boyfriend"

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006
    4:40 pm
    50 words
    Lay cheekbone to chest
    Dream with dozy buzz
    Sweat with shared heat
    Wake with wanting lips
    Fuse until separation pangs sting
    Transmitting touch still
    Echo to find the other
    Gaze too long
    We stay with
    and without each other
    Away not distant
    Particularly close
    Split this one, destroy the world
    Saturday, May 13th, 2006
    1:15 am
    Being OK with not being OK
    A settlement of displutes I have often used is "agreeing to disaree". Somehow, that simple truce makes it all go away. To quarrel any longer could cause injury on both sides, neither of whom will budge. I don't let it fester and can put it out of my mind and move on.

    What if you battle with yourself? I am still nagged by injurious thoughts, and as much as I try to let go, something triggers it and it boomerangs back. I said in the beginning of the year that I have to be OK with not being OK. I am talking to myself in monolog I want to smother with a ball gag.

    I want be OK with not being OK with these things because having them always bother me will drive me mad. Maybe it's like your fears - face them and they dissolve, like the monster in the closet that disappears every time the lightswitch is flipped. It IS all in my head, and I'm not sure how to get it out, but I have to. Forgive me.

    Sweet words so rare
    I could have shown you what I was capable of if you let me finish
    I have no recollection of the future tense
    Response to love letter: "that's nice..."
    no spell to break because none was cast
    I am not sexy or I'm not your "type"
    Never wanted to capture my image
    Verbal Heismanns
    Naked I was guarded
    Phoning more than once a week I felt neurotic
    Hurt after not bliss
    It's not a good time
    Each guest shaved away patience
    Desire or necessity
    maybe it will go away
    My eyes filled during "If You Change Your Mind" as I knew that would be me
    the money was the easy part
    You haven't even tasted it
    immune to me
    I never wanted to live with but live near
    twenty-four hours after you shook my bare foot at your friend - "there's only one thing left..."
    Got that right, only it was the wrong thing.

    Can I really deal with it boiling down to a pop-culture phrase: "He's just not that into you". I wish I could have been devistating instead of devistated. But unless I'm delusional, I don't think anyone else would have gotten, or will get, anything more.

    Why do I keep torturing myself? I feel like I will never find the pieces that will allow me to put the puzzle awayonce and for all. Please, Buddha, let me be OK with not having the answers that will make me feel alright. I will look sunshine in my dented mind.
    Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
    1:26 am
    I Am a Murderer
    I have rarely played the victim. When misfortune befalls me, I smother in the requisite 15 minutes of self pity I need to fully realize the injury, assess the damage and calculate a petty and vindictive plan to kill its source. I am Christ-like in my capacity to forgive, but I do not forget, and vengeance is often mine much later when the scabs have been long lost, and not even entirely by my own hand. If I were to write a chapter on each of my emotional and physical traumas I have had to endure and conquer so far in only half my life, they would make a pretty fat book, and an entirely surprising fun read. Each one of my stories has a happy ending because who wants to read the story of someone faced with adversity and defeated. Those do not make best sellers.

    In order to get to the happy ending, I have not only had to endure grueling bits of mental anguish and sometime physical torture, I have had to kill someone – burn bad boys in effigy, slay the green dragon of jealousy, fight eight-eight crazy ninjas of injury to the death, wrench my way out of an emotionally stunting Iron Maiden using telekinesis. My powers are many, I can call them at will and I always win. In order to achieve that I do have to kill a flesh and blood being, which is myself.

    I have killed myself many times. I do not know why I stand before you now. I cannot believe there are any pieces of me left to be this defiant, but I can hit the buttons and the words appear. I am not the only thing I have murdered – there are many before and will be again. Whatever I need to do to survive, I guess. It’s them or me, or should I say him or me. The worst part of the murder was losing a part of myself quite literally. I was unwanted, I had been rejected and as much as I had tried to stand out in defiance and make it like it was just another thing I had to go through, there I lay. I was sequestered in a hotel room in the end of August, traveling to a distant land, unsure of my future.

    What I knew to be true was lost. More than the illusion I fed to myself, I lay in a hotel room in London in a flood of blood like I have never seen. My abdomen cramping to torment me further, I prayed that it stay with me because it was the only thing I had left. My merciful cerebellum had taken over, I convinced myself as I lay there bleeding and helpless. The functions of my brain that controlled my breathing and heartbeats and digestion were telling me this was not to be, yet I wanted to hang on as I saw this as my future. In my true fashion, this would be the positive thing that came form the hurt and the heartbreak. It was too grave. I never left that hotel room, with curtains drawn and bruises formed all over my body. It is not your time, I convinced myself.

    So both my future and my past had disappeared in a flow of blood. I had nothing to hang on to. I documented my bruises as I believed I was in an alternative universe where no rules existed. I flew to Stockholm to be met with misery and loneliness. I missed my missing flesh. That for me was a future and with out it I was just in a dark country where I didn’t speak the language. All I had was a love in my head and an empty vessel of a body. An instantaneous flow of sorrow would gush anytime I was reminded of what I had lost in that London hotel room or behind in New York. My anguish was liquefied and there seemed no way to stem its torrent in my new life. Seemed the girl who killed monsters in her closet was defeated and weak, with no trace of her fearless self to protect and guide her.

    This was my fifteen minutes of self pity. It seemed to turn into more, but I will not measure or acknowledge it. It needs to be killed and fast. That which seeks to destroy me must be annihilated. It is my own love I cling to that must die, this other entity I created and had turned to devour me. This is the part of myself that I love that I must kill. I cannot murder its object so I turn it on to myself. I want it to live, just was I lie there cramping and bleeding in London praying to someone else’s God that I get to keep this one thing that I think will save me.

    What is love without the recipient? I am pathetic and it must stop. My pride stops me from being humiliated and I know the only course of action is murder. I take this thing, which in my eyes deserves to live beyond any action. It is bigger than me and him and everything else, but it cannot go on. Part of me thinks it will be OK with one parent who will nurture it and take care of it and help it grow, but doing it alone makes me feel worse. I find consolation and desolation at the same time. In order to maintain my self-respect and dignity, I must drive the dagger through its heart.

    You hear the phrase, “This will hurt you more than it does me” but this is the first time I could have uttered those words myself. This feeling of love was like a puny newborn baby in my arms trusting me with its care and safety and looking to me to nurture it without falter. I held it and looked into its eyes for the last time. This must die for all involved. Only I care about this baby, and the other person that created with me has walked away and showed no signs that it cared for its sustinence. I hold it tight as the only thing I have left, and start filling the tub with warm water. I cradle it and hold its warmth to my face, the tender cheek of six month old flesh. I do not want to let it go, but I have nothing to do but when the water gets high enough, to lower it down and submerge it. I look away and feel the tiny struggle against one hand. I am a monster that something I gave birth to will now die by my own hand, but I am alone and there is no one to admonish me. It is eerily silent. It was too easy and my tears flow down the drain with the rest of the water. “I love you”, I say for the last time. Who can believe that someone who loved so much can do such a horrible thing. I cannot live with myself and I cry for fourteen days. I vascilate between “what have I done?” and “it was the only thing I could do”.

    And in the end, as much as I hate myself for killing this thing and killing a piece of myself, I know I am right. A judge and jury might burn me at the stake, but what is that helpless beast if it is not fed and cared for? Why should one of us be the only one that cares and is left with the desicion of life or death? It is just not fair. I wanted so much to have that thing and keep it with me when it might have been a real person to say this is living proof that I felt this much. But with that gone in a wholesale rejection of my womb, the memory is not enough. Get rid of it all. It is the gangrenous limb that might take all of me if I don’t hack it off. The saviour has lost. The killer kicks in. Time to die.

    What have I destroyed but myself? What have you got when love is not returned but your own grenade blowing up in your face? After the possession of grief is the homicidal rage. You did this to me. I will not assign blame, but I have to do what is good for me. I must exterminate all evidence of its existence, and though there are parts I have grown fond of, feel responsible for, and want to carry with me always, I know that will only contribute to my demise. I am not killing you, though I may want to from time to time. I am killing me, and I hope I am better for it.

    This same source once sent me a piece whose subject was, “Is hurting each other the best we can do?”. It’s not the best we can do, it’s what we do when we do what is good for us and it’s not good whoever we’ve emotionally attached ourselves to. How can emotional attachments feel so physical? I would have sooner hacked off my own arm with a dull rusty saw than detached myself when I saw it coming. Hard lumps in my throat would choke me. I felt dizzy and would sweat. A tight fist would grip around my heart. I blamed it on my mind, which had done horrible things to me in the past – not allowing my lover to touch me without sheer panic, making me vomit, sending me to the cardiologist, thinking about stepping in front of a speeding city bus.

    Hurting each other is the least that we do. Killing each other is the worst we can do, even if it’s just a little piece, a flash of electrical synapse fire, a heartbeat skipped, fluid drained, clumps of flesh and blood flushed down sewers. It is something we need to do to move on, for better or for worse. I’ll gladly pluck out the eye than loose the whole of the soul.
    Monday, February 20th, 2006
    9:05 pm
    Loot Poetry
    My boyfriend works for an advertising newspaper called Loot. He gave me this piece of advertising which is a fridge magnet with all these little words telling you how great it is to advertise your unwanted junk for sale in Loot.

    While my dinner was cooking, I took it as a challenge to make up some kind of interesting phrases with these words. They were so "commercial" - nothing engaging, interesting or poetic about them in the slightest. There are a bunch of words I immediately want to throw away because they are awful. I try to keep an open mind but I wind up chucking out "cooker" and "PC" in the garbage because they are ugly and don't deserve to exist in the English Language.

    Using all the magnets but one - composed in about 20 minutes after dinner - here is "Loot Poetry":

    make some cash as if you call it and take it back

    your easiest thrill is selling love or the one great bargian of your
    bed and sofa

    Do it simply you can make them look happy

    Sell your car and buy toys today !!!

    Buy and selling you family just deals with the cash value or check

    Imagine all the items you find under us

    Your quickest ways could even loot some extra rent

    Of what bike or if such a cupboard are with it
    Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
    9:56 am
    The History of Pop Music Lyrics
    The 50s - I love you
    The 60s - I love everybody
    The 70s - I love me
    The 80s - I love my stuff
    The 90s - I hate everything
    The 00s - I can't love.
    9:47 am
    game of cat and mouse...
    Imagine this scene 2:30 am, my apartment... starring your heroine, who has never killed anything larger than a roach...Rudee the cat (the one who never fights back when attacked by the kitten)..and a small mouse that would fit in the palm of my hand...

    I see that my cat is playing with something, and carrying it in his mouth. I see a tail haning out and know that it is not one of his toys. I am chasing him around the apartment to see if he'll drop it or something. Rudee bings it to the couch and drops it. I see missing pieces of fur and red spots of flesh. I decide that surely, death by a swift blow to the skull is more humane than the torment Rudee is dishing out, however innocently playful his intentions are. The mouse was still able to try to run away each time Rudee let go, but that was the fun of the game. Rudee was fast to catch up and would dig his claws into the mouse in order to get him back into his mouth to carry him around the apartment like a toy. Then, Rudee would get up onto the futon, let the mouse go and watch it, pawing or biting it immediately went it went to give chase, his claws snaring the mouse's mangey coat like fish hooks...

    I go for the tool kit, and can't find my big people hammer. I found a Barbie hammer - a perfect mouse hammer. Seemed to be enough to knock the lights out of a small brown field mouse. I go back to the futon to bop the unwitting rodent, who is now missing patches of fur and has a piece of flesh hanging from his backside. Those beady lobster eyes were begging for mercy.

    Tap! I whack the mouse. Mouse does not flinch. Is it dead? I poke the mouse and it crawls. Again. Bop! Somehow, I cannot gain the right force, especially with the give of the cushiony futon, to make this small beast lose consciousness. The toilet comes into consideration. I look for a larger hammer, and find one that is about 75% bigger than the Barbie hammer - a cat hammer to me.

    I go back to the futon, and the mouse, upon seeing the bigger hammer, or having enough of the feline torture, takes off behind the futon. The Cat goes after it, but is too big to squeeze through. Immediately, images of rotting mouse entrails being dragged through the house to find safe haven in some crack, unbeknownst to me until I am entertaining guests and a foul odor permeates the house, or some unwitting drunkard steps on the decaying pest, are running through my head in a nanosecond.

    Why couldn't I have found the bigger hammer? Why didn't the fear of decomposing vermin and the attraction of the bugs that eat my cashmere sweaters to its carcass compell me to haul off and wail the life out of this poor critter while I had the chance?
    This story is not over, much to my dismay.

    Love, you fearful mouse hunter,
    Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
    10:06 pm
    Love goes
    based on an old Swedish saying: Love goes where you put it, even if it's up a horse's ass...)

    Love goes where you put it, even if no one's there

    Love goes where you aim it, even if you miss the mark

    Love goes where you want it even if it don't want you back

    Love goes wher eyou make it, doesn't mean they won't break it

    Love goes where you keep it, even if it's stolen

    Love goes where you save it even if it's spent

    Love goes where you shine it, even if it's in the dark

    Love goes where you shower it, even it it's down the drain

    Love goes wher eyou give it even if they can't take it

    Love goes where you see it even if they don't want to be it

    Love goes where it shows even if they don't want to know

    Love stays with you even when you've given it away

    Love goes anywhere even if it's nowhere

    Love goes to whom you want it to even if though they've vanished
    Thursday, September 29th, 2005
    10:28 am
    Crash and Burn
    Fell high from the sky
    I’m going down
    Can you sink lower than hell
    I need to find out
    Peel off my skin
    What’s under this face
    My blood still runs hot
    I need to get out

    She don’t fit no more - Leave her behind
    Shake her off - Shed my skin
    She’s all mine

    Don’t look back
    or you’ll get sucked out
    you can never go back again
    never go home again
    don’t look now - you changed again
    you’ll never see her face again

    what have I left but nothing to lose
    I have to get her away from you
    you don’t want her you can’t have her
    She’s not yours to keep
    Gonna put her down
    I put her to sleep

    She’s not yours no more - Leave her behind
    Shake her off - Let her go
    She’s all mine

    Not dead but barely alive
    She needs to go – you watch her die
    she descends and lowers down below
    Burn her alive but don’t look back
    She evaporated
    Less than hell
    I put her there and I hate it

    She is no more - Leave her behind
    I put her down - She’s all mine
    Parting is such sour sorrow
    She’s got no tomorrow
    You can’t have her
    she’s all mine
    Friday, November 5th, 2004
    2:57 pm
    kinda makes you wonder..
    Who knows if this is for real...

    US Election vs: IQ Points
    Here's a little breakdown showing the state, average IQ score and who they voted for. The results speak for themselves, don't they?

    State Avg. IQ 2004

    1 Connecticut 113 Kerry
    2 Massachusetts 111 Kerry
    3 New Jersey 111 Kerry
    4 New York 109 Kerry
    5 Rhode Island 107 Kerry
    6 Hawaii 106 Kerry
    7 Maryland 105 Kerry
    8 New Hampshire 105 Kerry
    9 Illinois 104 Kerry
    10 Delaware 103 Kerry
    11 Minnesota 102 Kerry
    12 Vermont 102 Kerry
    13 Washington 102 Kerry
    14 California 101 Kerry
    15 Pennsylvania 101 Kerry
    16 Maine 100 Kerry
    17 Virginia 100 Bush
    18 Wisconsin 100 Kerry
    19 Colorado 99 Bush
    20 Iowa 99 Bush
    21 Michigan 99 Kerry
    22 Nevada 99 Bush
    23 Ohio 99 Bush
    24 Oregon 99 Kerry
    25 Alaska 98 Bush
    26 Florida 98 Bush
    27 Missouri 98 Bush
    28 Kansas 96 Bush
    29 Nebraska 95 Bush
    30 Arizona 94 Bush
    31 Indiana 94 Bu! sh
    32 Tennessee 94 Bush
    33 North Carolina 93 Bush
    34 West Virginia 93 Bush
    35 Arkansas 92 Bush
    36 Georgia 92 Bush
    37 Kentucky 92 Bush
    38 New Mexico 92 Bush
    39 North Dakota 92 Bush
    40 Texas 92 Bush
    41 Alabama 90 Bush
    42 Louisiana 90 Bush
    43 Montana 90 Bush
    44 Oklahoma 90 Bush
    45 South Dakota 90 Bush
    46 South Carolina 89 Bush
    47 Wyoming 89 Bush
    48 Idaho 87 Bush
    49 Utah 87 Bush
    50 Mississippi 85 Bush
    Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
    10:21 am
    I just can't be happy today...
    Man, I am sad for my country today. Fear and ignorance reigned supreme last night.

    Propositions in many states against homosexuals won by landslides - even one proposition that homosexuals cannot engage in legal contracts. What will come next? Take away their right to vote? Own property?

    Women are next. Bush stands only for rich, white men. I am not a man. I am not rich (his tax benefits are for people who make $250,000 per year or more), I am not male and I'm not even 100% white.

    This terror threat is bullshit. I live in the biggest target in the US, and I know it's crap. They are not fighting al Queda. More al Queda operatives were apprehended in the Clinton administration than the Bush administration because Clinton thought bin Laden was the number one threat to the US. The tape with bin Laden that surfaced a week ago should have proved that Bush failed in his most important mission. Ugh.

    I will write music about it - that's how I'll make it relevant. I already have one called "Abort Me" - Black Flag-style Reagan-era punk rock.
    Saturday, September 11th, 2004
    4:35 pm
    I sure know how to pick 'em!
    (I have had a spell of boys who I have found out AFTER the fact that they have girlfriends or WIVES. Only one had the balls to flat-out tell me, so I wasn't mad - just disappointed. I think the WORST way I found out about one was flying to another state to play a music festival and all his friends were like, "We were at XX's wedding last weekend, and then..." *gasket blows here*)

    and out of it comes a song....
    OTHER GIRL

    nobody owns me
    i belong to nobody
    it's a double-edged sword 'cause I'm nobody's girl

    attractive nuisance
    you keep your distance
    why can't you be free to be with me

    I am not just anyone
    other girl
    I am the other girl

    I am my own
    I belong to no one
    I am wanted but taken for granted

    I want to belong to someone
    someone to call my own
    I am not free because I want you to be with me

    I am not just anyone
    other girl
    I am the other girl
    Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
    2:37 am
    whore
    (i am on a roll. I write thoughts down on napkins, backs of tickets, gas station receipts and promptly lose them. This reconstructive creativity. I sing into my answering machine as I walk down the street and the erase them by mistake when I get home. This is called "the creative process" - ha. And people wonder why I take so long between albums...)

    (from parking stubs and boarding passes)

    make me
    you can't make me
    me does not equal less than you
    make me
    you can't make me
    was a time where I sold out
    thought I'd get more
    more than I had wasn't enough

    you can't make me
    I was a whore for you
    but not anymore
    you can't make me

    I made myself
    into something else
    you couldn't give me away
    I couldn't pay the price
    at less than nothing
    I was a whore for you
    but not anymore
    you can't make me

    make me
    you can't make me
    I'm hating me plus you
    all the way is not enough
    was it worth it now
    you can't make me

    why were you more than me
    what was I trying to be
    worthless worthless worthless girl
    you can't make me
    I was a whore for you
    but not anymore
    you can't make me
    not anymore

    (how can I even put into words the moral bankruptcy of that relationship? What was I? I cannot do it justice. I will think about it and get back to it later when I feel smarter.)
    1:19 am
    Abort me (or the anatomy of a song)
    (okay, I am finishing my thought of a few weeks ago and it makes a song which is pretty fucking angry and political - the first time for me. The music is sounding kind of like Black Flag circa 1982- another thing that is unusual for me, but no song in my mind expressed blind rage and frustration better than "Police Story", so there you have it.)

    Abort Me (there's already 5000 songs called Eve of Destruction)

    I’m the first to ever be
    And the last one you’ll every see
    Kill me now
    you won’t let me live
    I ain't got no more to give

    kill me now
    I am a walking abortion
    I am your eve of destruction
    Kill me now

    I got nothing
    I’ll take you down
    I’ll make you fall
    you got nothign to lose
    when you got nothing at all

    (just mix with disenfranchisement, unequal pay, crap rights, a boys club government that wants to tie us to the bed with a rope long enough to reach the kitchen and punish women for beign sexual...
    combine with post below
    and
    voila!
    instant punk rock!)
    Sunday, July 4th, 2004
    11:21 am
    I am a walking abortion...
    ...i am your Eve of Destruction

    sideline me
    you want me out
    strip me of everything
    So I don't count
    What am I supposed to me
    baby machine
    princess godess housewife whore

    I'm someone you can't ignore
    you're gonna have to kill me now
    take me out I am a walking abortion
    I'll be our Eve of Destruction
    so kill me now
    or I'll take you out
    Thursday, June 24th, 2004
    12:35 am
    I'm so lonesome I could...
    Hank was right
    and look how he wound up
    I have my spells
    fits of missing heart
    shaftway clean through my gut
    no one calls me baby
    or brushes the hair from my face when I sleep
    yet I put out and crank and create
    word image tune touch kiss
    will you walk away smiling?
    my knukles are white from grip
    what color are my eyes?
    I have no sense of it
    what am I?
    at the end of the day I have a long sigh and my own hand
    Is there anyone out there thinking of me at this moment?
    just three seconds and I'll rest
    So, where are you, Hank?
    I rekon you felt kin to me
    Does it get worse?
    the more people who know me the less I am known
    What does it take?
    It takes everything - I can feel it
    Do I have any left?
    I feel gone but tomorrow is another day
    I can't remember being in love
    but I miss it anyway
    Nothing is worse than wrong
    I know that now
    I have learned
    lonesome is what I got in return
    But I know me
    I should kill Kitty so that I may live
    I hate her
    Run from Kitty - they do...
    Lindsey is a good gal with a heart of gold
    let her shine
    Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
    12:31 pm
    I coudl have told you that...
    "CNN Breaking News:
    -- Commission reports "no credible evidence" that al Qaeda and Iraq cooperated in 9/11 attacks on United States.
    Watch CNN or log on to http://CNN.com for the latest news."

    THEN there wasn't.
    NOW there is.

    The enemy of my enemy is my friend. We sure went and whacked a harnet's nest.
    10:18 am
    Pray for Rock and Roll - pray for Johnny Ramone
    I have my problems with Johnny, but he's still a part of one of the most important bands in my life...

    My thoughts are with him and Linda...

    http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsPackageArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=530186§ion=news

    LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The guitarist with pioneering punk rock band the
    Ramones is fighting a losing a battle with cancer in a Los Angeles hospital,
    Rolling Stone magazine has reported on its Web site.
    Johnny Ramone, 55, whose real name is John Cummings, was diagnosed with
    prostate cancer four years ago, and it has now spread throughout his body,
    Rollingstone.com quoted the band's drummer, Marky Ramone, as saying.
    "Johnny's been a champ in confronting this, but at this point I think the
    chances are slim," Marky Ramone said in the report. "John never smoked
    cigarettes, he wasn't a heavy drinker and he was always into his health. It
    just proves when cancer seeks a body to penetrate, it doesn't matter how
    healthy you are or how unhealthy you are. It just seeps in and there's nothing
    you can do."
    The Ramones, famed for playing their high-energy, unpolished songs at breakneck
    speed, rose to fame in New York City in 1974, paving the way for such British
    punk rock icons as the Sex Pistols and the Clash.
    The band made its mark with such tunes as "Blitzkrieg Bop," "Now I Wanna Sniff
    Some Glue" and "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker," but it never achieved the same
    commercial success as acts that followed in its path. The Ramones officially
    retired in 1996.
    The band's singer, Joey Ramone (ne Jeff Hyman), died in 2001 of lymphatic
    cancer, while bassist Dee Dee Ramone (Douglas Colvin) died from a drug overdose
    the following year.
    Monday, June 14th, 2004
    3:17 pm
    Bedtime for Bonzo!
    Read my Rant here:
    http://www.thekowalskis.com

    But HELL, even The New republic had something to say about it! Read on:

    REAGAN'S PUNK ROCK.
    Reagan Youth by Spencer Ackerman Post date 06.14.04

    By the time Ronald Reagan was laid to rest this weekend in Simi Valley,
    it seemed as if every aspect of his character, his presidency, and his
    legacy had been unearthed and examined. Not without justification--even
    Reagan's detractors conceded the late president's iconic stature. His
    supporters deified him, making Reagan almost metaphysically identical to
    the very concept of human liberty, and proclaiming freedom to be
    Reagan's greatest bequest. Yet some Reaganites seemed less than
    confident that their Reagan would be history's. Rush Limbaugh sought to
    interpret Reagan to the "millions of Americans under the age of 30 [who]
    have no concrete memory of Ronald Reagan's presidency," explaining in
    National Review that he "defines the utter beauty and blessing that is
    America and reminds us all of our destiny."

    But for a large portion of those under the age of 30, their portrait of
    Reagan emerged through another of Reagan's gifts to the country--one
    that went almost completely ignored throughout last week's memorials.
    They could tell Limbaugh that no accounting of Reagan's cultural legacy
    is complete without noting a simple truth: Ronald Reagan is responsible
    for some of the best punk rock ever recorded.

    While not as eloquent as Reagan's Brandenburg Gate address--Bad Religion
    perhaps best summarized the contemporaneous punk understanding of
    Reagan's America by declaring "Fuck Armageddon, this is hell"--the
    hardcore records of the early 1980s age a lot better than Knute Rockne,
    All American. As long as there are disaffected teenagers in America able
    to seek out (and, now, download) that era's music, Reaganites won't just
    have to battle liberal historians to convince young America that their
    vision of the Gipper is the right one. They'll have to go up against the
    Dead Kennedys.

    If Reagan embodied everything sunny and inspiring about the United
    States to his supporters, to the preternaturally angry punk rockers of
    the early '80s, he represented anomie, arbitrary authority, and an
    ignorance that was socially acceptable, even valued. At the dawn of the
    Reagan era, pioneering singer and guitarist Bob Mould was a student at
    St. Paul's Macalaster College. "I remember watching these kids getting
    up in the morning on my dorm floor, putting on a suit and tie and a
    briefcase, talking about this guy from California named Ronald Reagan
    and how he was going to be the next president," Mould told journalist
    Michael Azerrad. "And I'd be sitting there arguing with those fucks in
    speech class and poli sci and just hating that, thinking 'This is not
    acceptable behavior. This is not what we're supposed to be doing with
    our late teens.'" His response was to start the Minneapolis juggernaut
    Hüsker Dü, whose musical evolution away from the stifling formula of
    hardcore punk--blisteringly fast rhythms with the barest patina of
    melody, performed with all the precision of a prison tattoo--would lead
    to some of the greatest rock and roll of the decade. The same held for
    Joey Keithley, who didn't let his Canadian citizenship stand in the way
    of his Reagan-hatred. "I didn't like the rock 'n' roll I was hearing,
    and I didn't like Ronald Reagan," he recently recalled, explaining why
    he started hardcore legend D.O.A. and rechristened himself Joey
    Shithead.

    The punk assault on Reagan was relentless. A bunch of Queens high school
    students called themselves Reagan Youth. Their eponymous anthem took the
    parallel to its logical conclusion and seig-heiled the president during
    the chorus. Michigan's gloriously primitive Crucifucks saluted Reagan's
    would-be assassin in "Hinckley Had a Vision." The Berkeley-based punk
    rock bible Maximumrocknroll published anti-Reagan screeds in practically
    every issue. MRR also released what many consider to be the greatest
    hardcore compilation LP of all time, Welcome To 1984, whose cover
    featured a mohawked punk defacing a stylized poster of Reagan. The 1983
    Rock Against Reagan tour united some of the most potent hardcore bands
    of the time, including D.R.I. and M.D.C., in a common purpose, and in
    July of that year they unleashed their vitriol on the National Mall.

    But no band inveighed against the president with the intensity of the
    Rock Against Reagan tour's headliners: San Francisco's Dead Kennedys.
    The DK's first record, Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables, was an
    eclectic and sardonic take on late '70s California. Reagan drained
    practically all the subtlety out of the band. In 1981, they released
    their greatest post-Fresh Fruit offering, the raw and furious EP In God
    We Trust Inc. The sleeve featured a gold Jesus crucified on a cross of
    dollar bills. On "Moral Majority," singer Jello Biafra got to the point:
    "Blow it out your ass, Ronald Reagan." That was nothing compared to
    "We've Got a Bigger Problem Now," a reworking of Fresh Fruit's classic
    "California Uber Alles," which skewered the "suede-denim secret police"
    led by Governor Moonbeam, Jerry Brown. The new version unloaded on
    "Emperor Ronald Reagan/Born again with fascist cravings" as it built
    from a low-key lounge groove to a scorched-earth crescendo. In case
    anyone missed the point, the band took the stage at a show nearby the
    1984 Democratic National Convention in Klan hoods, which they removed to
    reveal rubber Reagan masks.

    Of course, not every punk rocker used Reagan as a foil. The very
    existence of any form of human civilization was sufficient to raise the
    Nietzschean ire of L.A.'s Black Flag, the greatest of all American
    hardcore bands. Others, deploring the de rigeur anti-Reagan politics of
    the punk scene, embraced the president. Beloved New York hardcore band
    Murphy's Law enthused, "Ronnie Reagan, he's our man/If he can't do it,
    no one can!" The singer of Chicago's Effigies, John Kazdy, ended up a
    prosecutor and member of the conservative Federalist Society. (He
    explained, "There is nothing punk rock about voting for a party that
    wants to put more government in your life.") Still, without Reagan to
    use as shorthand for everything undesirable about America, punk's
    intensity lost a certain focus. As punk rock lurched through the Clinton
    years, California's NOFX released a 1996 EP of retro hardcore,
    justifying the project by warbling, "Guess what, nostalgia sucks/But I
    miss the days of Reagan punk."

    The band's front man, Fat Mike, is actively trying to bring those days
    back. In April, he released the Rock Against Bush compilation, which
    brought together 26 contemporary punk bands to rail against Reagan's
    self-proclaimed ideological successor. He wasn't the only one. Tobi
    Vail, who drummed for groundbreaking punk band Bikini Kill, wrote a
    widely circulated essay celebrating the Rock Against Reagan phenomenon
    before declaring, "[T]he time is ripe for Bands Against Bush." Last
    October, "Bands Against Bush" concerts were held in San Francisco, New
    York, Seattle, and other cities. This time, however, the bands involved
    are hardly the obscure denizens of marginal record labels. Rock Against
    Bush features multi-platinum acts like Sum 41 and the Offspring. But the
    project also acknowledges the debt it owes to Reagan-era punk rock:
    included is a new track, "That's Progress," by Jello Biafra and D.O.A.
    Their presence on the compilation is a tacit nod to the inadvertent and
    surely undesired punk-rock legacy of Ronald Reagan. All that's left is
    for the Reagan Library to reserve wall space for the In God We Trust
    Inc. cover art.

    Spencer Ackerman is an assistant editor at TNR.
    Monday, May 17th, 2004
    9:26 am
    How many members of the Bush Administration does it take...
    Q: How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace
    a light bulb?

    A: The answer is SEVEN:

    (1) One to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced.

    (2) One to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who
    asks questions about the light bulb.

    (3) One to blame the previous administration for the need
    of a new light bulb.

    (4) One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to
    have a secret stockpile of light bulbs.

    (5) One to get together with Vice President Cheney and award a
    one million dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton Industries
    for supplying a light bulb.

    (6) One to arrange a photo-op session showing Dubya changing
    the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped
    in an American flag.

    (7) And finally one to explain to Dubya the difference between
    screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
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